A Trustable Template
in Giggles on December 7, 2015
We all hope that our children grow up to be strong and independent. Right? That’s the end goal. The finish line is in sight. They cannot live at home, in my house forever? Eventually they will leave. I mean, I moved out and away from my parents’ house. Eventually, my parents moved out of the state and halfway across the country to ensure that I could not move back in with them…well, me and all three of my children on the off chance that my sweet husband ever decides that we are too much for his nerves to handle.
But I digress.
Right now I am focused on my own hot mess of a scenario, dealing with my own Tasmanian devil of a spiraling out of control situation. The culprits? My two youngest infidels, I mean children. Their offenses? Just wait.
Each one of my three children possess their own different strengths, talents, and abilities. I love each one. I am proud of each one. I believe each one to be special. However, the degree to which that specialty ranks sometimes takes a Masters Degree or higher in order to decipher exactly how special that particular child is. I am a writer…or at least I pretend to be. With that said, I enjoy the more creative aspects of life within reason. My sweet princess of a daughter pushed the creation of words to the breaking point last week, as she informed her art teacher of her impeccable “trustableness.” For those of you who may not be blessed with the high-level vocabulary skills that my seventh grade daughter possesses, please allow me to translate:
Trustableness: to be filled with extreme trust; worthy of trust; trustworthy.
Slight backstory: the Divine Miss Em wanted to bring her art project home for the weekend to work on it. Her teacher, with rightful and appropriate trepidation, asked if she could be trusted. Without missing a beat, Emma replied that she was filled with impeccable trustableness. Now, anyone can make a mistake. I’ll give you that. However, not five minutes earlier, she had been the center of attention for another stellar performance, involving the miraculous transformation of cabbage to lettuce and vice-versa.
Somehow, during the flow of conversation in art class the topic of cabbage was brought to the forefront of the room. The Divine Miss Em spoke up boldly and announced that she did not know why people made such a fuss over how icky cabbage was…after all, don’t they eat salad? Her art teacher was perplexed by her comment, and asked for a more elaborate explanation. She obliged: “Well, the cabbage grows, and it’s all nice and round and leafy. Then you cut it up, and voila! it turns into lettuce for a salad.”
Mic drop.
What do you say to that? I’m still shaking my head. How did she NOT know that cabbage and lettuce are TWO different vegetables???
Then we have Boss Hogg. As if Miss Em was not enough of a handful for me, I have Mr. Hogg creating a new use for the word template. Actually, he used the word correctly, he just got caught. Allow me to explain.
He got busted for cheating.
Which going back to the whole Boss Hogg analogy, it sort of fits. He let a friend of his use his worksheet as a template because she didn’t quite get hers finished. His reasoning behind his offense was that he did not want her to get 10% off for turning it in a day late. What he did not take into account, was what would happen if they both got caught.
Zeroes.
That’s what would happen. That’s what did happen. When cornered and confronted, he owned up to the fact that he allowed her to use his paper as a “template.” I asked him if her knew that was cheating…he said yes, but that cheating was such an ugly word–template sounded so much better.
Shakin’ my damn head.
Here’s hoping your day is one to make into a template!
-Dallas
One thought on “A Trustable Template”
Comments are closed.
Lesli says:
OMG finally got to read this. Way to funny!
Love ya sister!