Mommy Blog

Before Mama Was Mama…

in Giggles on July 15, 2022

Settle in today, folks! I got a little carried away!!

So, we’ve moved.

Which means we’ve been unpacking

Which, if I’m honest, the we’ve been unpacking, reminds me quite a lot of the we when the upstairs at our last house got re-painted.

For an exact reference, please see my current book, Why Some Animals Eat Their Young, chapter eleven, starting on page 155.

The gist of that encounter was when my sweet husband decided that together we could repaint the upstairs; what he actually meant by we and together, was that we would both be in the same house…I was the only one on a ladder, falling off said ladder, spilling paint in my hair, dripping paint in my eyes and sporting enough bruises and sore muscles that I’d begun to think I was a UFC fighter in my sleep.

But, I digress.

We’ve now been unpacking twenty-two years of stuff for the last eight (or so) weeks. Needless to say, hiding amongst all of the boxes…and boxes…and boxes, I have come across some legit GEMS. One of which, is the following picture. This picture is one of LESS THAN A HANDFUL of evidence from my single days in the late ‘90s.

I think ALLLL Gen-Xers everywhere just said a silent Thank you, Jesus that social media was NOT a thing back in the day!!

This picture is time stamped: April 17, 1999.

That was three and half months before I met my husband, who incidentally is the love of my life…and oddly enough…I was wearing that very shirt (or what little there is of it) the night I met him. How do I remember that? Well, when an event happens that literally alters the trajectory of your life—certain things just stick.

To look at me now, with over ninety percent of the books in my office being either Bibles, biblical commentaries, Greek word studies, and biographies on major and minor biblical individuals—not to mention my framed CHRISTIANITY (Magna Cum Laude) degree from an esteemed Bible-based university, along with certificates into two HIGHLY respected and SELECTIVE theological organizations….you would NEVER guess how much fun I used to be.

And then, there’s my eight o’clock bedtime.

Giggle.

Now, I told you all of that to tell you this: When the picture of me and Brenda was taken, we were standing in her backyard in Austin, Texas. At that time, I had been living and working in Houston, Texas for about five months . Roughly two and a half hours separate the two cities.

I had driven into Austin after working a FULL Saturday at my job…a poppin’ salon on Houston’s northwest side. Our Saturdays started early…8:00 am, early. We worked until 4:00, unless we still had clients in the shop, then, obviously, we stayed late. There’s a SOLID chance that I had been out on the town with my girlfriends from work the night before…and if I’m being totally transparent…most likely the night before that as well.

Now, before I start to lose readers, and judgy comments coming flying in, please understand this: I wasn’t painting the town red in search of men, a man, or any “hook-up” of the kind. I simply liked going out with my friends.

I had a full social life that I was splitting between two cities.

So…beyond digging up old and incriminating pictures, what does all of this have to do with moving and unpacking?

Well…music.

For anyone who has read more than a couple of my posts, knows full-well how much I like music…mainly Country music (but Christmas music is a VERY close second!). During all of my unpacking, I stumbled upon Amazon music WITH videos! I had a Country playlist blaring through the house, when all of a sudden, a forgotten prize from Clay Walker belted out of my speakers.

I completely stopped what I was doing, listened and watched with extreme fondness his video of ‘Fore She Was Mama. I’ll do my BEST to put the link up! Try this: https://youtu.be/txWsevMWlhk

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the lyrics, just picture a time before our lives were documented to the public FAR AND WIDE for the entire world to see, and we only had our memories…and hidden boxes of little forget-me-nots. Then, picture your KIDS finding that box—a box that revealed to them a side of you they could never imagine.

My children are just about grown. They know that I wasn’t always a Bible teacher, a writer, and speaker (hint-hint…BOOK ME). But, somehow seeing physical proof, rocks their world.

This picture of me has surfaced before. The kids were probably a little shocked, but overall amused. Emma was NOT a fan of my black tights and shoes. Apparently, she’s not up on the coolest ‘90s fashions! But now, that they have all reached basically the same age as I was in that picture—what blows their minds is NOT that I went out to the clurbs, as the kids these days say—No.

What completely renders them speechless and is exhaustively incomprehensible to them is this: I always got up and went to work the next day.

Granted, some of those days were assuredly not my best, but I was there.

I’m not exactly proud of, nor am I condoning this behavior, BUT some of those days at work, I was in basically the same clothes as the night before, sporting multiple club stamps, X marks on my hands and/or wrists, and on occasion, a couple of different wrist bands.

THAT is what blows their minds.

So, why am I bringing all of this up?

Well, that picture brought back sweet memories. My friend Brenda died about fifteen years ago. The thought of her still makes me smile. We worked together for years. And that night out with her, was my ONE and ONLY trip down to Austin’s famed 6th Street. True story.

My husband framed this goofy picture, and has it on full display in his home office.

More importantly than all of that, is this: Jeff and I have not always been Mom and Dad. We used to be young, full of life, and bulletproof. All of the same things kids today feel. The main difference is 99% of us when we were out running the bars and being stupid, we still managed to remember our responsibilities.

We all had rent to pay.

Car payments.

Electric bills.

Food…albeit, the majority of that “food” was ten cent Ramen and Spaghettios.

We didn’t call in because we had a severe case of the Brown Bottle Flu, aka, a hangover.

We took two Advil, chugged a blue Gatorade, ate leftover Taco Bell off of our kitchen counter, and started all over again.

I think the art of enriching our kids’ lives with responsibilities has faded into the background of society. Kids and young adults do not fully grasp the concept that yes, one day, they will be removed from Mom and Dad’s payroll. That is a scary thought for most—and a distant (possibly even fictional) notion for the rest.

I’ll admit that I am guilty of this affliction. Jeff and I both started working at a very young age. I stood on top of milk crates just so I could see over the counter and reach the top shelf of snow cone flavors in my parents’ Shaved Ice trailer. I was ten. I have a long laundry list of food service jobs thanks to my parents, but that is a blog for another day.

My point is that they made sure my feet stayed on the ground by placing weighty responsibilities on my shoulders. I didn’t enjoy it at the time, but I’m grateful for it now.

Parenting is hard.

Parenting is not for sissies.

It’s okay for me to have not always been The Mama. It’s okay for my kids to go out and have a good time while they’re young…before they become Mamas and Daddies, but in that process, we need to make sure the transition from care-free-kiddo to responsible-and-productive-member-of-society goes smoothly. Oh…and also remember to have a little fun AFTER the kids arrive!!

Have a great weekend!!