Mommy Blog

But You Don’t Have A Job

in Must Be Nice on August 13, 2016

Settle in…I got a little long-winded today!

So, yesterday was a SUPER busy day in the Louis household.  School is getting ready to start (Moms everywhere said, AMEN)…my husband was preoccupied mourning the loss of his beloved iPhone (apparently even cell phones have mother boards)…and speaking of MOTHERS, my primary source of distraction for the day took the form of my own mother, who was set to arrive at an undisclosed time late yesterday evening.

So, yeah, yesterday was busy.

My point in rehashing—lamenting all of my household woes was to highlight the fact that through all of our chaos, I found myself staring at the business end of six o’clock, standing in front of an empty stove, a cold oven, and four giant faces with rumbling tummies wondering what in the world were we going to eat for dinner…

I made an executive decision to go out.  We ended up at a nifty little Japanese restaurant in which we used to frequent rather often, but we seemed to have neglected in recent weeks.  Our dinner was highly entertaining.  Jeff and Elliott provided not only our table, but those in close proximity (much to Emma’s dismay) with an impressive drum medley thanks to the endless supply of chopsticks found at our table.

They received a standing ovation.

For Jeff’s next trick, he proceeded to set his chopsticks on fire with the decorative candle in the middle of the table.  Elliott’s eyes grew WIDE with anticipation of his ability to participate in Daddy’s side-show attraction.  It was then that I flagged down our server for FORKS and removed ALL chopsticks from the area.  I think the people at the next table were disappointed that their dinner show had come to an abrupt end.  Little did they know before their meal concluded, Emma would turn in her own performance.

Throughout the meal, my sweet children took turns poking fun at their unfortunate father over the loss of his cell phone.  He was really taking the loss exceptionally hard.  Sometimes I wonder which of my children is more attached to their device—my ACTUAL children OR my BIG child??  Not one to miss an opportunity, Emma saw an opening in the conversation, and she took it:

“Uh, Dad.  Ya know, my phone still has that AWFUL mark down the side of the screen.”

Jeff and I both rolled our eyes.

“Now, I’m not saying that you need to get me a new phone today or anything…But, what if—Just what if—because you know Apple is coming out with Seven in a couple of weeks—And I bet Mom is due for an upgrade—You get YOUR new phone—Go ahead and you buy Mom a new phone—And I’ll just take hers.  Doesn’t that sound like a good plan?”

She seemed very pleased with herself.  Our oldest son was gaping at the pair of us hoping and praying we were not going to fall for her schemes…Elliott was totally oblivious to everything at the table, having retreated into his own device to catch the latest Pokemon.  Jeff was trying not to laugh—as Emma’s charms, unfortunately, DO work on him.

Thankfully, I am immune.

So, I responded, “You think so, huh?  Just like that?”

“Totally, Mom.”

“I see only one tiny flaw.  I don’t need, nor do I WANT a new phone right now, and when or if the time arises for me to get a new phone, I will go and buy one myself.”

And here is where the wheels fell off.

“But how are you going to do that?  You don’t have a job.”

Let that sit and marinate for a minute.  I don’t have a job.  Is that a fact?

I stood up, met the hostess/manager on my way out, (with Emma tailing me, apologizing profusely) and told the manager, “Jeff needs the check and my daughter needs a ride home.”  I walked right out of the restaurant.

This is the SECOND time in the last few weeks that Emma has tried to call me out for not having a job or questioning me as to where my money comes from.  Allow me to shed some light on this subject.

First of all, I grow humans.  If I had not done my JOB, I would not even be having this conversation with my entitled and spoiled princess in the first place.  I did my JOB correctly.  She is here.  She is healthy.  End of story.

I never leave my JOB.  I am always on duty.  I have FOUR bosses.  They ALWAYS want something different from me.  The floors magically get vacuumed and mopped.  Food mysteriously appears on the table at multiple intervals during the day.  The refrigerator seems to always be stocked with the RIGHT types of sustenance.  Clothes somehow get washed.  Sheets get changed.  Dogs get fed.  Seeing as how NONE (save Jeff) of my BOSSES drive, they all get to practices, doctors’ appointments, the dentist, FRIENDS’ houses, the MALL…I may start wearing a chauffeur’s cap and jacket—but I do not have a JOB.

If I were to be paid monetarily for my services, the breakdown would look something like this (at the $7.25/hr MINIMUM WAGE for Texas):

Five days a week, 52 weeks a year—no weekends $45, 240
Night shift (8 hour) Saturday and Sunday, 52 weeks year $6,032
Total= $51,272

Here’s the deal, I wanted to be a stay at home mom.  I have worked outside the home AND done all of this mess inside the house with it…that is incredibly hard to pull off!  To all the Mommas out there that do both, my hat goes off to you.  And to all of you SINGLE parents, who not only work outside the home, then put in a full day once you get back to the house, but also have to be BOTH parents—WOW.  Somewhere along the way, I missed something in how I explain things to my daughter.

I struggled a long, long time when I left the working world for the home world.  I thought my worth was somehow tied to the amount of money I contributed to the overall income of the household.  If I am really honest with myself, sometimes that monster still raises its head.  My contribution to my family is NOT about how much money I can bring to the bank on Friday.  I am ensuring that our children are growing to be strong, healthy and INDEPENDENT.  One day they will leave this house to be productive and contributing members of society.  I would like to think that I had a hand in that.  How?  By feeding them, clothing them, fighting monsters under the bed in the middle of the night, and sitting up with them when they were sick.

No Emma, I do not bring one single dollar into this house.  In fact, I spend quite a lot at times.  And, if Daddy had to pay me, he could not afford me.  But if Moms parented for the money, there would be no kids.  If there no kids, there would also be no sticky refrigerators and no hand prints on the walls.  Who wants to live in a world like that?  I don’t.

I have a job…it may not buy me a new iPhone…but the health benefits cannot be beat.

Here’s hoping your day is worth it!

-Dallas

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