Mommy Blog

Flawless, Fabulous, & FORTY

in Must Be Nice on September 14, 2016

I have been thinking about this post for a while…a couple of YEARS to be exact.  I just had a birthday.  A BIG birthday…a birthday that women deny with just about every fiber of their being.

Last week I turned 40.

Gasp.

Cough.

Choke.

You’ll be pleased to know that I can now type and actually say out loud the words “I am forty” without crying uncontrollably…just a small trickle of silent tears now stream from one eye.  Trust me, this is a massive improvement.  Two years ago, I had a severe melt-down inside a candy store in downtown Savannah, Georgia over the fact that I was eventually going to turn forty.  My poor husband was absolutely speechless…as were the stunned customers around us.

And now, here I am, almost fully committed to the fact that I am, indeed, forty.

I can no longer run from it.  I cannot hide from it.  I may as well embrace it.  My husband made sure that my fortieth birthday was one for the record books.  He assured me that age is merely a number, and in his eyes I am a TEN!!  What did he do?

He took me to Las Vegas to meet up and party with some of our closest friends like were still in our twenties!  We dined at some of the swankiest restaurants in Vegas, danced until dawn, he even convinced my sisters to drive in from San Diego to see me!  But the ultimate surprise for the weekend was prime seating at a GEORGE STRAIT concert!  He doesn’t even tour anymore.

Over the course of four days, I was blessed to hang out with family and friends that feel more like family than actual friends.  But more than that, I saw myself differently.  I saw myself through my friends’ eyes, rather than seeing myself through my own.  We often see only our own flaws.  We often critique ourselves much more harshly than we should.  I know that I am extremely guilty of this.  I am constantly berating  myself for the things that I could have done better; or things that I should have said, or should NOT have said.  But this past weekend, I took time to see what my friends see.  It took a few days for my brain to catch up to my eyes, but eventually I began to see and more importantly, I began to believe.

You see, my friends went out to Vegas on their dime, not ours.  They paid for their trip.  My birthday cost them money.  Yet, they chose to spend that time with me.  Jeff made a last-minute decision to fly us out on the last flight out of Houston on Wednesday night, instead of our originally scheduled flight of first-thing Thursday morning.  Our friends were all already out in Vegas…we would have been the very last to arrive at the party, so to speak.  But, he wanted us all to be together, so we hopped on the last flight out, and arrived late.  Well, as we rolled up to the hotel–not having told a soul we were coming early–we see two of our friends strolling through the lobby!  Of all the people in the hotel!

The genuine scream of delight at our arrival was overwhelming…

Not even then could my mind comprehend what my eyes and my ears were perceiving.  Have you ever felt that way?  I know there are all sorts of people who read these posts.  People from all walks of life.  Everyone struggles with something at some point in their life.  I believe that it is human nature to pull back into ourselves when we feel threatened or insecure.  Might I offer a suggestion?

Don’t do that.

Isolation only isolates.  Go to your friends.  Everybody has at least one person they can talk to.  Chances are, you have more folks than you realize that love and care about you.  We live in an incredibly fast-paced-schedule-everything world.  Please do not forget about yourself while you are busy taking care of everyone else.  You will go crazy…and trust me, crazy is lonely.

My birthday was exceedingly special and memorable.  I have decided that I am going to own 40.  I am flawless, fabulous, and forty!  And I’d bet dollars to donuts that you are too!

To Lesli, Corri, Michelle, Natasha, Danielle, David, Bear, and of course my sweet husband, I had the most wonderful time!!  I love you all!!

And to Antonio…meet me in the Rush Tower…5 minutes…I’m hungry.  🙂

Sweet Baby K…thanks for watching my kiddos!

Here’s hoping your day is FABULOUS!

-Dallas