Mommy Blog

The Heat…

in Giggles on March 8, 2015

Well, I have thus far survived two nights of being Home Alone.  I am fairly used to being in the house without my husband.  He has to travel for his job almost every week, and the kids and I are left here to mill about and do whatever it is your average stay home mom does…watch my stories at noon, eat bon-bons, drink the bubbly… Yeah, right.  However, being here without the hubby and without the kids is a completely weird phenomenon.  The house is really, really quiet.  The dogs, well really just Captain Destructo, is losing her mind.  She keeps wandering around the house, crying while looking for signs of life–other than me–evidently I’m not cutting it.  I have heard from the traveling circus, I mean family.  They all made it safely to Colorado, and are, at the typing of this post getting ready for Ski School.  Who wants to start a pool on which one of highly fragile kiddos comes home with a plaster souvenir from the Rockies?

The peace and serenity that I am currently experiencing was not even close to being on my radar in the days prior to everyone’s departure.  Why?  I’m so glad you asked.  Just four days before the family packed up to leave the great state of Texas, my sweet husband was halfway around the world in INDIA.  India.  He was gone for ten days.  Please allow me to briefly replay a portion of the chaos that filled this house while he was gone:

For those of you who may be unfamiliar with my standard operating procedures, I am a planner.  I like to know what is happening and when–down to the last second.  I had all of my school semesters planned out before I started back on this insane journey.  I know what we are having dinner almost every night of the week.  I plan holiday meals a year in advance.  It’s a disorder to which there is no cure.  So…when we planned this fabulous ski trip (last October) I made plans to board Captain Destructo, and have my mother-in-law keep the little dog.  As the time drew nearer and we realized I would no longer be able to accompany the rest of the crew on the trip, I altered Destructo’s boarding to days at Doggie Daycare simply because she is still a puppy and needs frequent potty breaks and ample playtime during the day.  If these needs are not properly met, she requires all of that extra attention at extremely odd and inconvenient hours, such as midnight or 2:00 am.

A week into my husband’s India trip, I noticed something disconcerting on my kitchen tile.  Captain Destructo had just gone into heat.  I could have cried.  When we got her from the breeder, we signed a contract that kept us legally bound not to have her “fixed” until after her first heat cycle.  I was ASSURED this would not happen until she was at least 14-18 months old.

She is 10 months old.

Please see the frantic email I sent to the Hubster while he was unreachable by phone in the wilds of India:

“Dear Jeff,  Hope things are going well in India.  Enjoy your time at “work.”  I really liked the picture of you by the pool.  Things here are not quite so serene.  Ethan has mounted a rebellion against the current governing power which needed to be put down by force.  He’s still alive, but under solitary confinement.  Oh, and because I needed something else to clean up…Charley is in HEAT!!  I looked online, and found that her “season” will usually last about three weeks.  We are at the beginning of week ONE.  The good news is that Goldens keep themselves clean, so there should NOT be any major clean-up needed on my part.  Please take a minute to absorb the meaning of that statement, and then say “Gross.”  Week TWO is especially dangerous if we are NOT planning on breeding her—which we are NOT.  Every dog in a ten mile radius will suddenly become Rover the Wonder Mutt with the hopes of defiling my baby, and claiming her Golden latte for his shameless horn-doggy self.  THAT is the week she was supposed to go to doggie daycare.  Snap.  Y’all are in Colorado.  I am in school.  Your mother is Florida.  And everyone else we know is in Colorado with you.  Bonus.  She will be stuck in her bed for hours every day.  Week THREE is still iffy, but not as bad as week two.  In short, the Golden who was NOT supposed to have her first season until she was 18 months old just swiftly and completely wiped out a perfectly and well laid plan.  Score another point for Capt. Destructo.”

Clearly my dog is exceptional.  We are now rounding out week two, and she is still going strong.  Yuck.  As if that wasn’t enough entertainment for the week, my youngest son fell TWICE going UP the stairs…not coming down, but going UP.  My oldest really DID stage a coup before church, that required outside assistance from a dear friend’s husband so that he would make it on time, and THEN to round out the week–the night BEFORE they were set to leave, my daughter started throwing up everything except her toenails.  Apparently this was the week for social studies country projects, and food from your “country” was a popular object lesson.  My sweet girl didn’t fully accept that lesson, as her little body rejected (rather forcefully until 1:00 am) every last morsel.

Heat.  It comes in all shapes and sizes.  My Mamaw used to tell me that if I couldn’t take the heat, then I needed to get out of the kitchen…well, sometimes Mamaw, you just can’t escape the Heat!

Here’s hoping your day is heated thoroughly, but not scorching!

-Dallas