I Forgot…
in Giggles on March 14, 2022
Last week I spent six days with one of my sisters. She lives in Northern California, in a little bitty town with her man, their dog, their one-year-old—and their brand-new baby girl.
Hence, my visit.
For those of you who may not be completely familiar with my family of origins, allow me a minute to shed some light on this. I am the oldest of four girls. On the surface that may not seem like enough fodder to warrant a backstory explanation. The interesting piece of this puzzle is exactly how much older I am than my sisters.
I am eight, ten, and twelve years older than my sisters.
That is a substantial difference; it was a big deal when we were all younger and living at home…it is an even bigger deal now that we are all grown.
While I was typing this out, I happened to be sitting at Natasha’s kitchen table, surrounded by baby paraphernalia, the slight scent of Johnson & Johnson’s shampoo in the air, and a cacophony of sounds—ranging from The Incredibles 2 on the TV to a squeaking/whimpering newborn, and adding the enraged screams of annoyance from the “almost newborn” toddling around, wondering, “What in the wide world just happened to my life?!”
I flew out here to help my sister with this new and exhausting transition. Having ONE baby will rock your world. Your daily life no longer belongs to strictly yourself. You now must be constantly aware of your environment and hyper-focused on the safety and well-being of this new life who has entered your home. Couple that with enough hormones raging inside your body to start a chemically based World War and sleep deprivation worthy of a North Korean POW Camp.
Now, after one year of barely adjusting to that new life—another bundle of joy arrives on the scene. What can a Momma do?
Cry.
And then call in reinforcements.
Enter Big Sister, stage right.
While my sister is taking her first steps down the diaper-strewn road of parenting, I am doing my Victory Lap, as I have just crossed the finish line, and claimed my prized new title of “Empty Nester”.
The doctors say when you are laboring in your super-human phase of trying to expel a tiny human from your person, that all of the pain and destruction to the most delicate parts of your person will fade with time…that despite the agony and unbelievable suspension of every single law of physics—you will actually forget all of it, and without pause or question, YOU WILL DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.
In short, you will forget.
I can, without hesitation, vouch for this anomaly. I “forgot” twice.
Jeff and I planned for our first kiddo, Ethan. We eventually had planned on having a couple of more bambinos to add to the mix. What we didn’t plan on, was how quickly (lightening speed quickly) those other bambinos would arrive.
When Ethan was fourteen months old, I delivered Emma. Then when Emma was one year and one week, I delivered Elliott.
Webster’s then needed to redefine the word: EXHAUSTION.
I am well-passed those early days and years (my oldest is getting married next year), but my sister is standing at the starting line.
On day three of my visit, Kourtney (the one-year-old) who is hands-down, the happiest baby I have EVER seen, stood center stage in the living room, and gave her first Oscar winning performance of a rabid and caged animal. Her brand new baby sister was wailing with displeasure at the inconvenience of a full diaper. The girls’ stunned parents, could only watch. And in that moment…
I remembered in vivid Technicolor all of the early years that I had forgotten.
I remembered that there is a significant difference in a crying baby and a screaming baby. I remembered that a child in the midst of an EGOT performance cannot be calmed, quieted or bribed. That scene simply needs to play out until it ends with a total and utter collapse of all parties involved. I remembered that spaghetti is unequivocally a finger food. Sleep is overrated. Disney shows and movies are a gift from God. Water covers a multitude of sins—be it from your aunt’s cup, a bath tub or a swimming pool, and cheerios are incredibly sticky.
I also remembered that babies are a privilege that not all people get to experience, nor should ALL people be allowed to, and newborn babies smell better than anything bottled and sold, and sloppy-cracker-covered kisses from a fat toddler are sweeter than candy, and your heart only expands with the addition of each new family member.
It’s true that I am starting the next phase and chapter of my life. There are a million things that I have forgotten over the years, but one thing I’ll remember forever is that children are precious and should be treasured above all else.
“See this wonder in the making / Miracle each time it happens.”
Lyrics: See This Wonder in the Making, Jaroslav J. Vajda
One thought on “I Forgot…”
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Fran Geoca says:
Amen. I’m rejoicing, thanking, and praising God for the safe arrival of my first grandchild! This could also be called the reward for surviving 4 teenagers, right?! A few things are very different 36 years later: tummy time, sleeping on their backs, what to eat and when, etc….but “miracle each time it happens” is absolutely the truth. I’m now a bragging “Nonnie” with pictures galore, fairly dancing with joy each time we see her. There was no way I could understand the joy of watching my firstborn hold HIS firstborn until it happened, and I melted into a puddle of tears. Yes, I had also forgotten, and the remembering is more delightful every day.