I’m Batman, the Rapping Cowboy
in Giggles on April 1, 2015
Houston is experiencing Rodeo withdrawal. The Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo is the world’s biggest and baddest rodeo. It is totally fabulous and amazing. In fact, there are so many events, concerts, shows and shopping experiences that it is a near impossibility to choose just one favorite out of the mix! This year’s festivities were no exception, as record-setting crowds braved record-setting rains to venture out to NRG Stadium and surrounding areas for the fun. My family was part of those numbers.
We secured our tickets to go and see Brad Paisley. He has got to be one of my favorite country acts. I firmly believe that his family and my family could totally be friends, given half the chance! Before we made the trip all the way down to the Stadium, we decided to stop off for a bite to eat. Who doesn’t love a little Tex-Mex before the rodeo? The kids were super stoked about seeing “real cowboys” and I was pretty excited about seeing Brad–we are on a first name basis. Elliott (the youngest), was completely cowboy’d out. He was wearing a 10-gallon cowboy hat, Wrangler jeans, and his brother’s boots. His whole outfit seemed to be working rather well for him, at least that’s what he was thinking in his own sweet and precious mind. The one issue with his ensemble were the boots–they were a bit too big. In order to keep his feet firmly in them, he dragged his feet ever so slightly, thus giving him the quintessential John Wayne swagger. I happened to mention this resemblance to him as he returned to the table from a trip to the men’s room. He giggled uncomfortably. I asked him, “Baby, you do know who John Wayne is, don’t you?” To which he replied…
“Yup. He’s Batman!”
Jeff spit salsa out his nose. Ethan choked on a tortilla. I cried. Emma remained in her own little world. She was still miffed that our server had given her a cup with a lid instead of an adult cup. I just sat there, shaking my head. John Wayne as Batman??? It was Ethan that broke the stunned silence:
“John Wayne. Not Bruce Wayne…idiot. He’s The Duke, Elliott. The cowboy, from the Westerns that Papa Jim watches…”
There were three women sitting at a table beside us who were laughing so hard I was seriously afraid for their safety, and for the safety of their margaritas. What kind of parents let their children grow up not knowing the difference between John Wayne and Bruce Wayne?
But wait, there’s more.
A few days later, I was at the gym retelling my parenting fail to a sweet friend of mine, when another fellow gym-goer came in. This one too, was a young one. I wanted to test my theory and see if other parents were failing to introduce iconic culture to their children in the same manner as I clearly had done with my own. I retold the story to this precious freshman in high school. I paused at the end, and I asked her, “Do you know who John Wayne is?” She never missed a beat when she replied:
“Sure. He’s that rapper!”
Lil’ Wayne…she was talking about Lil’ Wayne!!! I almost collapsed on the treadmill. In some weird and refreshing way I was glad to know that it was not only my child that was clueless about the movie history of Hollywood’s greatest era. But I must confess, that a part of my heart died a little. I was too afraid to ask her about Gone With the Wind or It’s a Wonderful Life.
So, what we are left with today is a new generation of culturally misinformed and sorely uneducated youth on the iconic Golden Years of Hollywood’s history. On the bright side, we still have Miley Cyrus and Honey-Boo-Boo.
Cry.
Here’s hoping your day is iconic!
-Dallas
