My Girl Eyes
in Giggles on June 6, 2015
So my parents were here a few weeks ago, and my dad was having a bit of trouble navigating my kitchen. He needed a particular spice from my pantry, and was becoming more and more frustrated the longer he went without success upon finding it. He finally surrendered to the fact that I must not possess the spice he was so distressed over, when my mother stepped up to intervene. She calmly (and somewhat out of character) asked what he was looking for, to which he muttered something only a true Navy sailor could repeat, and then he said something very interesting:
Go! You look in that cabinet…look with your GIRL EYES!
You see, by this point in the festivities, Daddy was so far past the scope of reasonable thought, the only thing he could manage to spit out was the fact that my mother–like most women–possess a super power. We have GIRL EYES. It is true that Superman had X-Ray vision, and while that came in handy when fighting Lex Luthor and saving the world, X-Ray vision is no match for the unprecedented usefulness and awesomeness of the power of GIRL EYES.
Please allow me to explain: our Girl Eyes can not only see through many objects, like Superman’s X-Ray vision, but they can also see things hiding in plain sight. Take the elusive spice that my dad was fervently searching for…my mother, with her Girl Eyes, located it within 1.3 seconds. Consequently, her speedily recovery of the paprika only added to Daddy’s elevated level of irritation. My poor father is not the only one on the receiving end of the Girl Eyes phenomenon. No, no, no. All three of the men boys living in my house fall prey to my Girl Eyes.
I will show you a couple of pictures. Bear in mind that these pictures have not been altered in any way. These are but a trivial glimpse into the power of the Girl Eyes world.
Look closely…can you see the swimming trunks? This picture was taken this morning, as I sat in the backseat of my Suburban. My oldest child (boy-child), assured me that his new set of trunks was NOT, repeat, was NOT in the Suburban. After all, if there had been an extra set of trunks in the truck when we went to the waterpark the other day, when he BLEW OUT THE REAR OF HIS OLD TRUNKS ON THE VERY FIRST SLIDE OF THE DAY, surely he would have seen said trunks–when I sent him out to the vehicle to get them, right??? Right??? I mean, I understand there could be some confusion because his sister’s jacket is nearby…but he is my honor roll student, entering into HIGH SCHOOL in the Fall.
Nope. No trunks in the truck. He rode every single ride for the rest of six hours we were there in GYM SHORTS.
This picture was also taken today. Can you see the GRAPE JAM? Now, granted the jams and jellies are kept on the top shelf. My children are short. However, grape jelly/jam is usually identifiable by some sort of a PURPLE label or lid. My youngest son (also honor roll) ate his biscuit dry, until my daughter looked with her very own GIRL EYES and saw the grape jam. She, by the way, is two inches shorter than he is. She then rolled her GIRL EYES at her little brother.
Finally, we come to my sweet husband. I love this man. I am so proud of this man. I really believe that he is the smartest man on the planet…most of the time. Every now and then, his Y-chromosome kicks in, and he forgets that even Superman has his kryptonite. This afternoon we were at the store looking for ingredients for a recipe. We were on the right aisle; however, at first glance there appeared to none of our last ingredient. My husband could give rocket scientists a run for their money, but in this instance, book smarts mattered not. He simply stood there. The bottle was not where it should be–or so he thought. I had to use my GIRL EYES to look a bit deeper in the shelf to see that there was indeed only one more left! He was amazed. I was stunned that he had not thought of it first.
Girl Eyes. They are more powerful than X-Ray vision. They can see through closed doors. They can see the truth through a child’s lie. They can see a real tummy ache from a fake. They can spot a missing shoe at twenty paces.
Here’s hoping your vision stays sharp!
-Dallas
One thought on “My Girl Eyes”
Comments are closed.
Lynn Doyer says:
Oh yes. The Girl Eyes! He’s a very wise man to acknowledge this power. He probably learned of it from his mother. Much more powerful than a mere man brain can comprehend. And let’s not forget the rear facing option, beware oh misbehaving child!