Peanut Butter and Jelly
in Giggles on May 7, 2024
It’s a well-known fact that stale crusts and half-eaten bits of countless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are what fuels and strengthens mothers of young children.
In households where toddlers reign supreme, fresh and hot meals, while offered in abundance to their charges, are in a never ending short supply for the mothers. This is the cycle of daily life that I was once incredibly accustomed to; but over the last several years, as my children grew up and became more self sufficient, I mercifully had forgotten…
Until yesterday.
I have been visiting one of my sisters for the last few days. She has a two- and three-year-old, and is currently incubating Number Three, hence the reason for my visit. My poor sister is beyond sick with her bundle of joy, and managing two ACTIVE toddlers was simply not in the cards. As I have done this before with my own kiddos, I offered my assistance…plus, I figured I could use the refresher, as my first grandbaby will be arriving in July. I have two words for my journey thus far:
I forgot.
I forgot how loud toddlers are.
I forgot how busy toddlers are.
I forgot how stinky dirty diapers are.
I forgot how much I dislike the word no.
I forgot how much toddlers LOVE the word no.
My nieces have thoroughly enjoyed having free reign over their mountaintop domicile for the last eight weeks, while their mother has been indisposed. However, over the last couple of days, they are slowly coming to terms with the fact that Auntie YaYa isn’t at all so easy to maneuver around.
For starters, I’m not throwing up everything every thirty-five seconds, therefore my energy levels are much, much higher. And secondly, this is NOT my first rodeo. I raised three of these little monsters, and there are precious few tantrums that I have not seen and dealt with.
My nieces are smart and strong-willed; an excellent combination that will serve them well later in life, but makes raising them a bit of a challenge. I’m remembering that proper phrasing makes all the difference. Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t reason or negotiate with these little wanna-be-pint-size-dictators. Yesterday, their choices were “lunch and then a nap” or “nap.” Kourtney chose to eat her PB&J and then rest. Charlotte chose to melt to the floor, kicking and screaming, preferring to be hauled like a wriggling sack of potatoes to her room…without first eating her sandwich to better fuel her rebellion. She did, however, take a large bite from her sandwich, chew it rather well, look me dead in the eye, and spit it out on the table.
She’s the second born.
And, she’s two.
She’s extremely good at both.
I’ll admit that while she started her nap time in her room, that is not exactly where she finished it. She ended up on the couch, laying next to her mother, but the important thing is: A nap was taken. Unfortunately for her, lunch was not eaten…by her. I, on the other hand, helped myself to her leftover three-quarters of a peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich.
Dinner would be our next battleground.
Our dinner time showdown was very nearly identical to our midday event. Charlotte assured me more than once, that she “no like scabetti” to which I responded with, “I don’t really care. This is dinner.” Again, Kourtney ate, with extreme pleasure, as scabetti is, in fact, their favorite dish. Charlotte picked and played with and managed a few bites from her bowl—face first—she likes to pretend she’s a puppy, and then polite as you please, slid off of her chair and down the hall. That concluded dinner.
Charlotte’s behavior is not new to me. It doesn’t intimidate me. It does not even frustrate me. Truth be told, my daughter, Emma, already pushed those buttons…years ago.
Having hindsight and years of parenting experience under my belt, gives me a WAY different perspective and skill set that my sister (and myself, all those years ago) does not yet possess. Charlotte is two. Her brain is developing at a rate that would make Einstein spin. Even though her brain is working overtime to take in her environment, learn new skills, find her boundaries, step OVER those boundaries; her ability to fully process and voice those new skills are among the slowest to materialize. That results in unparalleled anger, rage and frustration, which manifests itself into epic meltdowns and tantrums worthy of Oscar acceptance speeches.
My job, my sister’s job, your job is to help guide and navigate these Littles along that path. As the adults and caretakers of these little ones, we must remember at all costs, that WE are the grown-ups. WE have all of our speech. WE know that if we do not eat lunch, we will be hungry and grumpy and touchy throughout the day. WE know that we do not always get to have our way.
Our babies know none of that.
They have to learn. And sometimes, they have to learn the hard way.
Today, Charlotte and I will try again. The past few days have taught me, that most likely we will both fail again…hopefully not as often and not for as long. I put boundaries in place for their safety, not because I am a tyrant. Enforcing those boundaries is hard.
Really hard.
But it isn’t impossible.
If you’re struggling with a miniature warlord who is trying to overthrow your current form of household government, stay the course. Be the adult. Take an occasional timeout for yourself, regroup and hit the ground running. Trust me, I completely understand how daunting this is, but trust also in this: The days are long, but the years are short. Read that again.
Parenting is not for sissies.
You can do this!
Peanut butter is chocked FULL of protein! You can survive on just that for YEARS! I did.
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Donna kelley says:
Dallas, you are a wonderful sister to help out Natasha through this daunting incubation time , as I remember you having some rough ones too. This is definitely why God gives us a shut off date. It sure is easier with the noise level when we are young. Sending love and prayers to you both. Love yall, Donna Kay🥰