Show Me The Money!!
in Giggles on January 7, 2021
Happy New Year, folks!
So, I woke up this morning with the idea for this post as sort of a joke, but as I started crunching numbers…yes, I said numbers, this thing totally morphed into its own unruly beast that has honestly made me want to start drinking before noon.
It could also have something to do with the fact that I had to actually do math…a task I have successfully avoided for YEARS.
I highly recommend that you grab your favorite beverage (no judgment as to what that beverage might be) settle in, and get ready to laugh, cry, scream or possibly a mixture of all three with some added feelings of your choosing. I’m about to drop some mind-blowing, hard-core-Mom-knowledge on you.
We are in that season of the year I like to refer to as The Holiday Hangover. Most of us have been running ninety miles an hour since October, and now that Baby New Year has finally made his appearance, we can come up for air. The decorations can come down…ALLLL of the decorations…even the Halloween decorations that we shoved into the coat closet under the stairs because we didn’t really have the time, energy or inclination to properly put them away in December as we rolled out the Fat Man just in time for Christmas. The kids are going back to school. The husbands are going back to work. The in-laws went home.
Praise Jesus.
We, as Moms, can get back to our daily routine. But, what IS our daily routine?
Well, a few days ago, I had a minor breakdown.
I say, minor, my husband and children would probably classify it differently…so would the people at Home Depot, as I stood crying in the mop, broom and vacuum aisle because they were sold out of the cordless vacuum my sister told me I just had to get. I came home with a mop, not a vacuum, and ran smack-dab into my poor husband and continued the waterworks.
He thought I’d lost my mind.
Little did he know, I was just getting started.
Tears are like kryptonite to a man…men are powerless in their presence. Jeff was no exception. He thought it best to vacate the premises. He went to the gym and left me to stew.
I began to dismantle the Winter Wonderland that was our house…at 8:00 on a Sunday morning.
My children were surprised, but apparently the gleam in my eye was slightly different during the take-down process, as opposed to the set-up process, so they said nothing about the early hour. They simply offered assistance.
SEVEN HOURS into the process, I was tired, achy, and apparently insane, and I unloaded all of those frustrations on the only other adult in the house.
Keep in mind…while I am a passionate individual, I am not usually one to explode by epic proportions. But, as I mentioned, the holidays are now over, Moms across the world are just now coming up for air, after weeks and weeks of making magic and memories—all the while they, themselves are running on fumes.
It was time for some self care.
The next day, I loaded up my Fat Dog, a few necessities (Garrison Brothers, anyone?) and I headed out of town for a few days.
Now, I told you all of that, to tell you this:
I, like so many other moms, am stressed and strained to breaking.
You can judge me.
You can roll your eyes.
You can tell me some bs line about “how hard my life must be,” and drip it with malice and sarcasm.
Hear me loud and clear when I tell you, I don’t care.
Being a mother IS hard.
It IS time consuming.
And, it IS THANKLESS.
Even with all of that, I wouldn’t change my life, but it does wear on me at times. I have spent the last twenty years raising kids to grow into strong and productive members of society. In order to do that job well, right, and successfully requires ALL of you—not SOME of you—ALL of you.
I gave that.
And then I gave a little bit more.
My oldest is studying to be a nuclear engineer at Texas A&M. He plans to change the world. He wants to be a husband and provider, like his father; a goal I have no doubt he will reach.
My daughter is applying to Texas A&M’s School of Meteorology. She, too, wants to duplicate the family life she has grown up in.
My youngest, while graduating from high school a semester early, is taking college classes and studying to become an advocate and translator for the deaf.
All three of our children have aspirations of rebuilding the life they have spent their own life watching. I’ll take that as a win.
Jeff will tell you, while we raised these kids, I did the heaving lifting. A few years ago, I went back to school to finish a degree I started at eighteen. I graduated in the top five percent of my graduating class. I wanted to get a job outside of the house.
Why?
I wanted to contribute….
…monetarily.
I sent out resume after resume.
No takers.
Apparently, being a Stay Home Mom for fifteen years, and a nail tech before that, working in food service before that…doesn’t qualify you for much…regardless of your GPA.
Turns out, I was un-hire-able.
So, I woke up this morning, struggling with these same thoughts. They rear their ugly heads every once in a while, take root, and make me think.
What is my worth?
What is my value?
Well, on paper my value is $259,722.00
At least it would be, for back pay of minimum wage (with the standard incremental raises) from 2001-2021, working 40 hour work weeks (laughable)…that doesn’t include any late fees or interest charges. That figure does include hazard pay, as my last two pregnancies qualify as life threatening circumstances…I looked it up.
I don’t know ANY mother who only works a 40 hour week…but that sounds glorious.
If I simply went with the minimum wage of 2001 ($5.15) for actual round-the-clock work for the last twenty years…that figure goes up SUBSTANTIALLY…. $877,312.00
I’m sure there will be some who read this, get super triggered. That’s fine. Get mad. But, let me ask you: Have you NEVER felt overwhelmed in your life? Or under appreciated? Not once?
You’re lying if your answer is no.
I rub people the wrong way ALL THE TIME…
Know why?
I say what most people are thinking, but not many have the guts to say.
I’m not ungrateful for my life.
I love my life.
I wouldn’t change my life.
All I’m saying is this: Stay At Home Moms NEVER LEAVE THEIR JOB.
Our husbands get to go to work—-stressful as those jobs are—they get to interact with people.
Our children get to go to school.
We are ALWAYS ON CALL.
At night.
In the shower.
While typing this blog…my phone has gone off three times.
So, show some love to a SAHM. We used to be cool, smart, funny, and intelligent.
Sometimes, we just miss who we used to be.
One thought on “Show Me The Money!!”
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SAB says:
You are STILL cool, smart, and funny! And anyone who is offended by you . . . . they probably don’t know your heart! Great article full of truth, transparency, and tenacity. Such a fun read!! Thanks for sharing!