The Colonel

in Giggles on August 19, 2022

It’s been almost seventy years since the iconic Elvis Aaron Presley made his debut.

Seventy years.

Two full generations have known nothing but a world where Elvis once walked…and now, thanks to critically acclaimed and highly decorated filmmaker, Baz Luhrmann, countless more generations will experience the wonder that is Elvis.

I’ve made no attempt in hiding, denying or disguising the fact that I was raised on the (only) three types of music: Country, Western, and Elvis. One Elvis song conjures more memories in my mind, than flipping through a dozen picture-filled scrapbooks.

I, like so many others, have been mesmerized by his silky velvet voice, and imagined how wonderful his life must have been toting around all that talent.

I, like so many others, could not wait for the new biopic movie depicting his life to hit theaters. Finally! Elvis, back on the big screen!

My sweet husband, though not a tremendous Elvis fan, was happy to oblige me in my obsession, and took me to the movies to see this latest offering of the King’s life.

I sat, unmoving, held captive by the actors, for two and a half hours. When the credits rolled, not a sound issued from me or the other movie-goers. We each left the theater in silence.

Why?

How?

For me, it wasn’t Elvis who dominated my thoughts, but rather a different leading man: The Colonel.

Of course I knew that Colonel Tom Parker was not only Elvis’s manager, but also a close friend—almost a member—of the Presley family. I had no idea what role he actually played, both in the rise and the fall of a global phenomenon.

From the outside Colonel Parker looked like a jovial…even jolly individual. He portrayed a safe place, a father figure, a protector.

However, on the inside, he was a dangerous, unhappy, swindling cheat and a thief. He was a man whose excess, self-ambitions and greed would leave a rhinestone-studded hole in the hearts of millions of people; and put a once young and healthy man into an early grave.

The Colonel holds a fascination of sorts for me.

He was a master puppeteer. There is little question that without him, the world could have possibly missed out on the superstar he pushed, pulled and manipulated onto the global stage. It’s his methods that send a chill up and down my spine.

I’ve written before on master manipulators. In my opinion, the Colonel was nothing more than a relatively unimaginative bully.

But, again, I find myself asking how? How could a man like Elvis fall prey to a man like Parker?

For starters, Parker would not have approached the singer head-on…meaning, he would have slowly eased his agenda on Presley, rather than showing all of his cards at once. I’ve said for years, that villains of this caliber at their very root, are unimaginative—as they are all operating out of the same tired handbook. This handbook has had no need for revisions or updates. Simple as the objectives are for these offenders, they have not needed to modernize or adapt because their prey still cannot see through their plots.

As with any abuser, the very first order of business is to establish total financial control over their ward. Parker was an expert in this particular field. He cheated and outright stole and deprived Elvis out of millions of dollars. He controlled every dollar that an Elvis production, picture or show generated. Then he decided when and how much the actual talent should get.

Gaslight: to manipulate someone by psychological means in which to sow the seeds of self-doubt, confusion, and even question their own sanity.

Exhibit A: Tom Parker, aka The Colonel, was not a colonel. During his brief stint in the US Army, he was never promoted above private. In fact, he was a deserter. He was found, convicted, and put in a military prison until a psychiatrist deemed him a psychopath and released him.

Psychopath: a person suffering from a CHRONIC mental disorder with abnormal and/or violent behavior.

Pretending to be someone you are not; qualifies, in my book, as a psychopath. The Colonel did this…in front of millions of people.

Parker manipulated Elvis as if he meant no more to him than the poor chickens that appear to “dance” in a carnival sideshow, when in reality, those poor chickens are hopping because they are standing on a false floor made from a hot plate.

Elvis did as the Colonel bid. He was effectively a dancing chicken.

Elvis made terrible movies. He lost millions from declined appearances overseas. He broke up with his hometown sweetheart because of “image issues”. Elvis was lied to, coerced, bullied, and quite literally forced to perform under some extremely inhumane conditions.

Parker was ultimately to blame for Elvis’s death.

While it is true that Elvis had a virtual Walgreens-worthy pharmacy in his tox screen the day he died…it was Parker who first put those drugs into his system. If Elvis did not perform, Parker made no money; therefore with a doctor on hand to administer energy-bolstering medications to revive a tired, worn out, and exhausted star, he ensured that the show would indeed go on. That same doctor would be readily available to sink the star into a dreamless sleep, in order to repeat the entire process the next day.

I see how this seemingly endless rambling about the life of Elvis Presley might be cumbersome to a few folks. Let me try this theory out:

Colonel Parker was, in reality, nothing more than a domestic abuser.

Think about it.

Elvis was financially dependent upon Parker.

Parker had Elvis utterly convinced that no one—NO ONE—would or could take better care of Elvis than him.

Parker broke the singer’s spirit by forcing him into movie roles that were beneath him, embarrassing, and ultimately devastating for his career…then…when the movie money dried up, Parker blamed Elvis for a lack of talent.

Parker was physically abusive to Elvis. Elvis was a lab rat ripe for the poking…what that all did to the icon’s health was of little to no concern, as long as Elvis kept performing.

As a result of twenty years worth of a laundry list of abuses—Elvis died.

Now, how many women fall victim to men just like Colonel Tom Parker? The short answer: countless.

I’d like to think that if Elvis had managed to extricate himself out from under the Colonel’s control, he would still be here. But instead, the King’s Memphis home, just finished its forty-fifth annual remembrance of his death.

We have to do better.

Many women (and yes, I know men are abused, too) do not have global stardom to shed light on their situations. It is up to us—their friends, neighbors, and family to recognize the signs and try to help. If you have a loved one in a situation like this, please seek help. There are numerous centers, helplines and societies that specialize in the relocation of domestic abuse cases. Please don’t wait until it is too late.

Birthdays are much more fun to celebrate than memorials.