The Toddler Years 2.0
in Giggles on August 26, 2019
So, I was going to entitle this post, “The Circle of Life.” You’ll figure out why as my thoughts unravel. But with that title come certain side-effects. For instance, how many of you are seeing and hearing a major Hollywood blockbuster soundtrack rolling through your mind at this very moment? I know I am…and it has been that way for days as I planned out my post.
I have had visions of young Simba being hoisted up high and proudly by brave Mufasa. I have seen (and heard) every musical number that the cinematic score of the 1994 masterpiece had to offer to the adoring public, including the new live-action version, but that is not exactly what I had in mind as the circle of life rolled through my house. Humor me for a minute, and pretend that Mufasa did not get trampled by a stampede of wildebeests. Let’s just say for the sake of my argument that Mufasa did indeed live to be an old lion, and Simba needed to learn a new lesson…
How to deal with college kids, aging parents, and a whole slew of other outside forces that test Simba in various ways.
Welcome to the Urban Jungle.
Many of you who read my rantings are parents…bless you for that. Obviously, I myself, am a parent. While technically my children are passed the toddler stage, they still have toddler tendencies. They pout. They cry. They stomp up and down the stairs. They have even been known to throw things on occasion (I do not handle that aspect very well). I remember when all three of my kids were actual toddlers at the same time. It was like living in a Tim Burton movie…reality was distorted–nothing was as it should have been. The question is why do toddlers behave so abominably?
They are fighting for their independence.
It is up to us, as their parents, to guide them into that independence…without losing our own minds. Once your children outgrow the terrible 3’s and move into the fabulous 4’s, you’d think you have this parenting/life thing knocked. Hold up, Slick. The training you received while dealing with your pint-sized war-mongers will become extremely valuable as the Circle of Life rolls onward, and you must learn how to handle toddlers of a different size…
Your aging parents.
I must admit that I was somewhat ill-prepared for this turn of events. A couple of years ago, I took my sweet father-in-law to the doctor for what we thought was a minor procedure. Six hours into our day, I realized our estimated time tables were slightly skewed. As he and I sat in the cozy patient waiting room with other people who were there for similar procedures, he began to get fussy and fidgety. The way this particular procedure worked is we would go in for testing (a small biopsy), then wait about an hour for the results, then repeat…ALL…DAY…LONG. He was tired of waiting. At almost 80-years-old his patience for doctors’ offices is slight, at best.
However, I tried to to make the best of an uncomfortable situation that had the potential to go from bad to worse with virtually no warning. In between wait times, I rooted around in my purse and found a deck of cards. We played gin rummy. Next I pulled out a banana…a book…a bottle of water…and every parent’s secret weapon–a bag of fruit snacks. The woman seated beside us actually snorted coffee out of her nose when the fruit snacks came out of my purse. She leaned over to me and whispered, “You must have little ones.” I smiled.
I was being “toddlered.”
Nine hours after we arrived at the surgery center, we were finally on our way back to my house where he would spend the next several days recuperating. My husband laughed at loud several times over the fact that his dad and our kids were now so similar. Why is that?
They were all looking for their independence.
Over the course of several days, I was “toddlered” a couple of more times by my father-in-law; meaning he pitched a few fits, made strange requests, and was, at times, a handful. Would I change anything? No.
Why is that?
I am a parent. I take care of those I love. Just like when my kids were little, I knew which kid needed which cup in order to avoid a nuclear core meltdown before breakfast. I took care of them…and I took care of him. I knew what he liked and what he didn’t. I knew that after 4-5 days at my house the likelihood of his irritability would go up significantly. He wanted his space. Just like now, as my kids are stretching their own wings for the first time, they want to know they can fly, but that we would still be close enough to catch them.
Our parents are the same way. Don’t clip their wings just because they no longer fly in a straight line. Just be there for them to help get them back on the right course. Our parents’ generation does not out-live their usefulness; they simply provide us with new opportunities to learn. Simba would have struggled with this a little bit, too. But I have faith he would have figured it out, and Mufasa would have been proud.
So, what about you? How will you see the circle of life? Blessing or burden? Take it from me, the circle is a blessing. It sometimes feels like a spinning hula hoop…but it is still a blessing.
Here’s hoping your Circle is filled with love!
-Dallas