Mommy Blog

Two Days In…

in Giggles on January 2, 2022

Happy New Year!

We’re two days in—how’s it going so far? Has everyone recovered from their wild and crazy New Year’s Eve, or did some of you discover that although you can still party like a rock star, you can no longer recover like one?

I’ve often talked about making New Year’s resolutions. I never do, by the way. I think they’re a nice thought, but at least for me, completely and utterly unrealistic. If I make it through just ONE day checking ONE thing off my to-do list, I consider that a monumental win.

I could never do the whole year!

But, along with thoughts of resolutions, I do have one that sticks out most: I’d like to be a better person this year than I was last year.

If I’m being honest, brutally honest, I failed most spectacularly in that department on a personal level. If anything, the older I’ve gotten, the crankier and (sometimes) meaner I’ve become.

Not a exactly a great way to start the New Year.

But I’ve also noticed something else as I’m getting older: My children are getting older.

Yes, I know that sounds elementary and obvious. Let me explain.

I’ve always been a fairly predictable hot mess of a gal. I have a short fuse and temper, and I’m quick-witted and sharp-tongued. While at times those qualities have come in handy, they aren’t exactly what one would write down as “Special Skills” on a résumé.

My children, on the other hand, only managed to inherit the good bits of my personality. It is truly a wonder to watch.

All three of them are smart (truth be told—they got a lot of that from their father), funny, slow to anger, quick-witted, and, most of all, kind. In short, my kids are my lifelong New Year’s resolution come to life. They are the better version of me.

There’s an old saying that goes something along the lines of this: A mother is a son’s first love, and a son is a mother’s last love.

This is true. Both my boys hold a place in my heart I never knew existed. The men they are becoming will make it incredibly difficult for any woman to be able to take care of them and love them with the ferocity and dedication I do. (Adeline, I said incredibly difficult, not impossible. I have complete faith in you, sweet girl.)

They are the men I always hoped I would find—they are their father. They are the best parts of us both.

There’s another saying about mothers and daughters: A mother is a daughter’s first best friend.

When Emma was younger, I was not her friend. My first and foremost job was to be her mother—her parent—her guardian—her protector. There’s a reason moms are referred to as momma bears. I would have done, and will do, anything to protect her, and that includes protecting her from making some of the same stupid and dangerous mistakes I made.

If you ask her today if I was her friend from birth to 15, she will say, “No, absolutely not.”

But if you ask her if I was her safe place, her answer will be just as absolute, “Without a doubt, yes.”

Today, I can say with ease and without hesitation that my daughter is indeed my best friend. She has grown into everything I never could. I am inspired by her grit and determination and by her willingness to stand her ground, yet she does so with a kindness and gentle strength that has often evaded me.

So, no, I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but I have been blessed to see the one wish I’ve carried for four decades materialize in the form of my children.

Happy New Year to you. Resolution or not, strive to be the very best version of yourself. You’ve got this!