Mommy Blog

The Wheels on the Bus…Fell OFF!

in Giggles on May 27, 2016

  Happy Friday, everyone!  Take a good look at this picture.  Have you ever been driving along, and thought, “Hmmm…something just doesn’t seem right…”?  I bet this poor guy thought that exact thing.  I mean, how does something like this even happen?  I have a theory: His wife went out of town.

You see, I have been out of town for a week.  I had a conference in Anaheim, California (yes, I went to Disneyland without my kids) and because I was in such close proximity to my family in San Diego, my sweet husband flew me out a few days early to hang with them.  As we have been circling the end of the school year, the children and I have been squaring off in our own corners of the ring preparing for epic showdowns, so Jeff decided that Mommy needed a time-out.  He could not have had better timing.

He shipped me out to sunny San Diego for some sister-time, so that I could decompress and re-group.  Little did he know how the household at large would react to the mom-shaped hole made by my stage-left exit.

My dear husband is really, really great at being a husband.  He truly is.  He is great at being a dad; however as those two roles intersected simultaneously this past week…well that’s where things got wonky.  The same day I left town, my mother-in-law also left town for her vacation.  I could almost feel the black omen of the Under World descending upon Jeff’s week at that very moment.  His backup plan and safety net was gone.  (Stifle giggle)  I knew a week without me would present some challenges; I just had no idea he would be dodging them at every turn, and from every-single-one-of-our-kids.

On Saturday, the day after I left, he apparently picked up a couple of spare kids.  This significantly changed the adult to kid ratio at the house.  He completely forgot about a dear friend’s son’s graduation party.  Big, huge, uh-oh.  But the house did not burn down, so I will still consider the day a win.

Sunday he took the kids to the lake…without sunscreen.  Elliott is now shedding skin like a giant python.  He missed the end of the year pool party at school because he already had all the vitamin D his body could take.

Monday Emma came down with the flu…the FLU!!  In May!!!  Are you kidding me?  She spiked a 104 degree fever on the first day of the last week of school.  Incidentally, this was the day I was at Disneyland with my sister.  No one at my house was happy.

By Tuesday, my phone and email were both blowing up with texts from Emma double checking her medication doses–she did not trust her father’s ability to read Motrin labels, and teacher emails about…Elliott.  Yes, my little Boss had struck out again.  On the last week of school he failed not one, but TWO end of the year projects due to lack of motivation to finish them.

I found it exceedingly difficult to concentrate on the topic of LOVE at my conference when everything at home was circling the rim of the toilet bowl.  Elliott got grounded.

Wednesday my dear husband forgot to take our oldest to his OT appointment…I cannot imagine why…could it possibly be because the entire household felt like they were living in the seventh circle of Hell?  I was slightly peeved at this, though…I wrote that appointment down on two different calendars.

This brings us to yesterday.  Time for me to come home.  My plane was delayed by thirty minutes due to radar issues, which the entire plane took in stride, well, all except me.  I am not the world’s most confident flier.  I must say, the man sitting beside was most accommodating as I tried to hold his hand and the hand of the lady sitting on the other side of him.  Is it any wonder my most fantastic migraine in a month hit me forty minutes into the flight?  I slowly exited the plane in Houston wearing sunglasses and oozing along the terminal walls.  I must’ve looked like this week’s rehab celebrity gone wrong.

But, today is a new day.  In fact, today is the first day–the first day of summer vacation.  The kids went to school for all of two hours this morning, thus beginning their SUMMER VACATION. There seems to have been a shift in the force overnight.  Everyone is breathing easier.  No one is spitting fire.  Everyone is speaking pleasantly to each other.  Mom is home.  My husband slept like a rock last night.  Even Captain Destructo got in on the action…the family said she moped around the house for the first five days I was gone.  She’s much happier now.  She’s at my feet as type this.

  As you can see, even Captain Destructo got a little something from Mom’s adventures to Disneyland.  So, what’s the moral of this story?  Beats me.  I was hoping the kids would give Jeff just a little taste of some of the stuff they put me through on a daily/weekly basis while he’s gone away at work.  I must say, they really out did themselves.  (Stifle yet another giggle).  This parenting thing is hard.  I can’t wait to see what they do the next time I leave…of course, everyone is saying that won’t be for a long, long, long time.

We’ll see…

Here’s hoping your wheels are all rolling in the same direction!

-Dallas